Golf Humor to Brighten Your Day

Golf Humor to Brighten Your Day


    Off the seventh tee Joe sliced his ball into a deep ravine. Taking his 8 iron with him, he climbed down into the ravine and after much searching, he discovered something white in the leaves. Looking closely he noted that it was a skeleton and it had an 8 iron in its hand. Shouting up to his golfing partner, he requested a wedge, stating, "You can't get out of here with an 8 iron."


    The school teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the Golf Pro

    "Putt is correct," he answered.

    Put is to place something where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.


    My grandson wanted to caddy for me and I told him he had to be able to count my strokes. I asked him "How much is 6 plus 9 plus 8?"

    He replied "Five".

    I told him he had a job.


    Golf can be defined as an endless series of tragedies followed by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.


    If you find that you don't mind playing in the rain, the snow, or even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip:



    The term 'Mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'MAUL IT AGAIN.


    A 'gimme' can best be defined as a term between two golfers, neither of whom can putt worth a darn.


    Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.


    The best wood in most amateurs bag is the pencil with eraser.



    Two women were put together  as partnersin a golf tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the one gal asked her partner what her handicap was. The other one responded, " I'm a scratch golfer." "Really," replied her partner, being totally impressed by being teamed up with someone so talented. "Yes, " replied the gal, "I write down all my good scores and scratch out all the bad ones."

    No offense ladies.

    That was funny

    Thanks Eagle! Mr. Hogan once told me, "Fred, golf is just like marriage. It all about how to deal with your misses".


    Way to lighten it up, Eagle

    • 3467 points
    • Posts: 573

    Good Humor. Had a couple I had not heard before. This did brighten my mood, thanks!


    Made me chuckle as many are so true.

    Another thought, a "gimme" is when a golfer is pleading for a hole out because he cannot putt.


    -ICONs for ALL




    Thanks for the chuckles !

    • 373 points
    • Posts: 13

    Good Stuff!


    What did the golfer name his son?





    Thanks Eagle.... Sort of a motivational message, eh?


    Thanks eagle...always nice to have a little humor to lighten up the day a little more!


    good stuff!  i'm saving these for later.  there are a lot of good golf jokes out there, but also a lot of really bad ones.  i borrowed a golf joke book one time and it was horrible.  i couldn't even finish it.  thankfully these were all good ones.  thanks for laugh on this dreary Monday morning!

    • 1613 points
    • Posts: 115

    Playing golf I have found humor is one of the best ways to relax everyone in the group, but like a good golf swing timing is important.

    Don't introduce humor following a player making a triple boggie, or missing a two foot putt.

    I noticed Davis Love, and I am sure others, would gather their group prior to a Pro-Am, and tell a joke or two to remove the tension.

    Thanks for the one lines.. good ones.



    nice, always like to read some jokes on a Monday!