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Golfer's Poem

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    >Golf  Poem
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    > In  My Hand I Hold A Ball,
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    > White And Dimpled,  Rather Small.
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    > Oh, How Bland It Does  Appear,
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    > This Harmless Looking Little  Sphere.
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    > By Its Size I Could Not  Guess,
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    > The Awesome Strength It Does  Possess.
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    > But Since I Fell Beneath  Its Spell,
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    > I've Wandered Through The  Fires Of Hell.
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    > My Life Has Not Been  Quite The Same,
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    > Since I Chose To  Play This Stupid Game.
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    > It Rules My  Mind For Hours On End,
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    > A Fortune It  Has Made Me Spend.
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    > It Has Made Me  Yell, Curse And Cry.
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    > I Hate Myself And  Want To Die.
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    > It Promises A Thing  Called Par,
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    > If I Can Hit It straight And  Far..
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    > To Master Such A Tiny Ball,
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    > Should Not Be Very Hard At All..
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    > But My Desires The Ball Refuses,
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    > And Does Exactly As It Chooses..
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    > It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies,
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    > And Even Disappears Before My Eyes.
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    > Often It Will Have A Whim,
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    > To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim.
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    > With  Miles Of Grass On Which To Land,
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    > It Finds  A Tiny Patch Of Sand.
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    > Then Has Me Offering  Up My Soul,
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    > If Only It Would Find The  Hole.
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    > It's Made Me Whimper Like A  Pup,
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    > And Swear That I Will Give It  Up..
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    > And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow,
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    > But The Ball Knows .... I'll Be Back  Tomorrow.
    > ......
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    > A recent study  found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a  year.
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    > Another study found  golfers drink, on average,
    > 22 gallons of  alcohol a Year.
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    > That means, on  average,
    > golfers get about  41 miles to the  gallon.
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    > Kind  of makes you proud.
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    > Almost  feel like a hybrid..
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    Very creative and very true.

     

    • 1495 points
    • Posts: 208
     

    HAHA this is great! But what is the MPG for the people that use a cart every round? Do they get better MPG than someone who walks?

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    A Fun Friday read....Thanks for the poetry and trivia, Nelbass.

    • 806 points
    • Posts: 51
     

    Super funny, and how true...

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    Very nice!  Thanks for posting.

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    GREAT POST BASSMAN AND OH SO TRUE.

    THANKS.

    • 2180 points
    • Posts: 344
     

    Bwahahaha.. that is good...

     

    Need to get a pedomiter, where you can input alcohol consumption. That way we can all keep track :D

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    i like it and i wish my car could go 41 miles/gallon

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    Nice poem and thanks for posting.

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    Nice...thanks Nelbass...have a great day!!