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Golf Humor to Brighten Your Day

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    Off the seventh tee Joe sliced his ball into a deep ravine. Taking his 8 iron with him, he climbed down into the ravine and after much searching, he discovered something white in the leaves. Looking closely he noted that it was a skeleton and it had an 8 iron in its hand. Shouting up to his golfing partner, he requested a wedge, stating, "You can't get out of here with an 8 iron."

     

    The school teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the Golf Pro

    "Putt is correct," he answered.

    Put is to place something where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.

     

    My grandson wanted to caddy for me and I told him he had to be able to count my strokes. I asked him "How much is 6 plus 9 plus 8?"

    He replied "Five".

    I told him he had a job.

     

    Golf can be defined as an endless series of tragedies followed by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.

     

    If you find that you don't mind playing in the rain, the snow, or even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip:

    YOUR LIFE IS IN TROUBLE.

     

    The term 'Mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'MAUL IT AGAIN.

     

    A 'gimme' can best be defined as a term between two golfers, neither of whom can putt worth a darn.

     

    Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.

     

    The best wood in most amateurs bag is the pencil with eraser.

     

    Lastly:

    Two women were put together  as partnersin a golf tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the one gal asked her partner what her handicap was. The other one responded, " I'm a scratch golfer." "Really," replied her partner, being totally impressed by being teamed up with someone so talented. "Yes, " replied the gal, "I write down all my good scores and scratch out all the bad ones."

    No offense ladies.

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    That was funny
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    Thanks Eagle! Mr. Hogan once told me, "Fred, golf is just like marriage. It all about how to deal with your misses".

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    Way to lighten it up, Eagle

    • 3467 points
    • Posts: 573
     

    Good Humor. Had a couple I had not heard before. This did brighten my mood, thanks!

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    Made me chuckle as many are so true.

    Another thought, a "gimme" is when a golfer is pleading for a hole out because he cannot putt.

     

    -ICONs for ALL

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    THANKS EAGLE. MADE MY ACHING NECK FEEL  BETTER THIS MORNING.

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    Thanks for the chuckles !

    • 370 points
    • Posts: 13
     

    Good Stuff!

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    What did the golfer name his son?

     

     

    Chip

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    Thanks Eagle.... Sort of a motivational message, eh?

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    Thanks eagle...always nice to have a little humor to lighten up the day a little more!

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    good stuff!  i'm saving these for later.  there are a lot of good golf jokes out there, but also a lot of really bad ones.  i borrowed a golf joke book one time and it was horrible.  i couldn't even finish it.  thankfully these were all good ones.  thanks for laugh on this dreary Monday morning!

    • 1613 points
    • Posts: 115
     

    Playing golf I have found humor is one of the best ways to relax everyone in the group, but like a good golf swing timing is important.

    Don't introduce humor following a player making a triple boggie, or missing a two foot putt.

    I noticed Davis Love, and I am sure others, would gather their group prior to a Pro-Am, and tell a joke or two to remove the tension.

    Thanks for the one lines.. good ones.

    Regards

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    nice, always like to read some jokes on a Monday!