Off the seventh tee Joe sliced his ball into a deep ravine. Taking his 8 iron with him, he climbed down into the ravine and after much searching, he discovered something white in the leaves. Looking closely he noted that it was a skeleton and it had an 8 iron in its hand. Shouting up to his golfing partner, he requested a wedge, stating, "You can't get out of here with an 8 iron."
The school teacher was taking her first golf lesson. "Is the word p-u-t or p-u-t-t?" she asked the Golf Pro
"Putt is correct," he answered.
Put is to place something where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing.
My grandson wanted to caddy for me and I told him he had to be able to count my strokes. I asked him "How much is 6 plus 9 plus 8?"
He replied "Five".
I told him he had a job.
Golf can be defined as an endless series of tragedies followed by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer.
If you find that you don't mind playing in the rain, the snow, or even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip:
YOUR LIFE IS IN TROUBLE.
The term 'Mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'MAUL IT AGAIN.
A 'gimme' can best be defined as a term between two golfers, neither of whom can putt worth a darn.
Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work, and both are expensive.
The best wood in most amateurs bag is the pencil with eraser.
Two women were put together as partnersin a golf tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the one gal asked her partner what her handicap was. The other one responded, " I'm a scratch golfer." "Really," replied her partner, being totally impressed by being teamed up with someone so talented. "Yes, " replied the gal, "I write down all my good scores and scratch out all the bad ones."
No offense ladies.