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H.R.H. THE DUKE OF YORK

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    "WHY ANYBODY DESIGNED A GAME WHERE YOU STAND 90 DEGREES TO THE BALL AND TRY TO GET IT TO GO 90 DEGREES TO THE DIRECTION YOU'RE LOOKING SEEMS TO ME EXTRAORDINARY......"

    H.R.H. THE DUKE OF YORK

    HMMMM,,,

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    Nope I don't think I have
    • 3503 points
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    Is that why people drink on the course?!

    • 811 points
    • Posts: 70
     

    It is sort of a stupid game.  Hit the ball, chase it, hit it again, chase it again....  That said, I still love it.

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    You'd think having watched the game cricket the Duke would comprehend golf. Then again, neither did Winston Churchill. Jimmy Demaret demonstrated a great philosophy when he said, "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.”. Thank goodness Demaret's philosophy has won out.

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    I guess HRH is not familar with these fun facts about the game of golf.....

    Fun Facts

        * It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer eat hot dogs and fart while performing brain surgery.

         * Golf balls are like eggs . they're white. They're sold by the dozen and a week later you have to buy more.

        * A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.

        * It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.

        * When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to go to church?

        * Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship: Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.

        * A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.

        * Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.

        * Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.

        * A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.

        * That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.

        * If there's a big storm rolling in, you'll be in the middle of having the game of your life.

        * If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.

        * The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.

        * If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

        * Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

        * When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

        * Any change works for a maximum of 3 holes and a minimum of not at all.

        * No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

        * Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.

        * When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

       * Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.

        * If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.

        * The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.

        * The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.

        * If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.

        * It's not a gimme if you're still away.

        * Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.

        * A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

        * It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.

        * Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

       * Non-chalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

        * The shortest distance to the green is a straight line that passes directly through the center of the very large tree directly in front of you.

        * There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.

        * You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.

        * Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

        * If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

        * To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.

       * There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top  and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

        * Hazards attract. Fairways repel.

        * You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.

        * A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

        * If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is the one in the bunker

        * If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.

        * Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

       * Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.

        * "I wish I could play my normal game....just once."

        * Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls.

        * If you do find that you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.

        * Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make the perfect shot.

        * The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul-it-again."

        * A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.

        * An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.

        * Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.

        * I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.

        * If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might want to reconsider this game.

        * Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.

        * Golf is the only sport where your most feared opponent is you.

        * Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work....and both are expensive.

        * The best wood in most golfer's bags is the pencil.

        * To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.

        * In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers...they shoot a "six", yell "fore" and write "five".

        * Swing easy. Hit hard.

        * Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?

        * Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.

        * Golf: A 5 mile walk punctuated with disappointments

        * Fairway: An unfamiliar tract of closely mowed grass running from the tee to the green. Your ball is usually found immediately to the left or right of it

        * Oxymoron: An easy par-3

        * Practice Tee: A place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice

        * Mulligan: Invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more 20-yard grounder.

     

    • 811 points
    • Posts: 70
     

    haha.  That is true fred.

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    I SAY, OLD CHAP, A STIRRING REVELATION!

    • 856 points
    • Posts: 88
     
    girlsgotgolf

    I guess HRH is not familar with these fun facts about the game of golf.....

    Fun Facts
        * It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer eat hot dogs and fart while performing brain surgery.
         * Golf balls are like eggs . they're white. They're sold by the dozen and a week later you have to buy more.
        * A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
        * It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
        * When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it's a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to go to church?
        * Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship: Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
        * A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
        * Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
        * Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
        * A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you.
        * That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
        * If there's a big storm rolling in, you'll be in the middle of having the game of your life.
        * If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
        * The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
        * If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
        * Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
        * When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
        * Any change works for a maximum of 3 holes and a minimum of not at all.
        * No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
        * Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
        * When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
       * Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
        * If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
        * The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
        * The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all your errors.
        * If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
        * It's not a gimme if you're still away.
        * Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
        * A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
        * It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 10.
        * Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
       * Non-chalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
        * The shortest distance to the green is a straight line that passes directly through the center of the very large tree directly in front of you.
        * There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
        * You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
        * Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
        * If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
        * To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.
       * There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top  and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
        * Hazards attract. Fairways repel.
        * You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
        * A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
        * If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is the one in the bunker
        * If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
        * Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
       * Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
        * "I wish I could play my normal game....just once."
        * Golf is harder than baseball, in golf you have to play your foul balls.
        * If you do find that you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: Your life is in trouble.
        * Golfers who try to make everything perfect before taking the shot, rarely make the perfect shot.
        * The term "mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase "maul-it-again."
        * A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers...neither of whom can putt very well.
        * An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
        * Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink.
        * I play in the low 80's. If it's any hotter than that, I won't play.
        * If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might want to reconsider this game.
        * Achieving a certain level of success in golf is only important if you can finally enjoy the level you've reached after you've reached it.
        * Golf is the only sport where your most feared opponent is you.
        * Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work....and both are expensive.
        * The best wood in most golfer's bags is the pencil.
        * To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
        * In golf, some people tend to get confused with all the numbers...they shoot a "six", yell "fore" and write "five".
        * Swing easy. Hit hard.
        * Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
        * Golf! You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks.
        * Golf: A 5 mile walk punctuated with disappointments
        * Fairway: An unfamiliar tract of closely mowed grass running from the tee to the green. Your ball is usually found immediately to the left or right of it
        * Oxymoron: An easy par-3
        * Practice Tee: A place where golfers go to convert a nasty hook into a wicked slice
        * Mulligan: Invented by an Irishman who wanted to hit one more 20-yard grounder.

     

    Now this is funny.....
    • 1547 points
    • Posts: 114
     

    It is a beautiful concept, challenging but fair, you never really win so it keeps it interesting, and it is a great source of outdoor activity for all ages and sex.  What else is better than a family outing, even though that was not the initial intention.

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    That is a funny and true post ggg
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    fredcloss

    You'd think having watched the game cricket the Duke would comprehend golf. Then again, neither did Winston Churchill. Jimmy Demaret demonstrated a great philosophy when he said, "Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at them.”. Thank goodness Demaret's philosophy has won out.

    I think the Duke is more about Polo and shooting than Cricket Fred. He's used to leaning off the side of a galloping charger hotting the ball in the direction he is facing. Where's the skill in that? LOL. I like your comparative quote relating to Sex and Golf, I have to say that I'm pleased the comparison ends there though, as I don't fancy having to take a score card into the bedroom.

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    JCASS67

    It is sort of a stupid game.  Hit the ball, chase it, hit it again, chase it again....  That said, I still love it.

    Not sure I'd say stupid, but rather "simple" in that like you said, you hit your ball, you chase after it and repeat; the concept is very simple but it's crazy how truly complex the game ends up being.  And it is certainly addicting.

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    GGG, thanks for posting those...I needed a good laugh!  My wife (who also plays golf) enjoyed reading them as well.

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    GGG got it all figured out.