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FUNNIEST THING ON A GOLF COURSE

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    I thought I would bring this one back specifically for RWG. I am quite sure she probably has a few to add

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    A woman I play with a couple of times a year has a remote control push/pull cart that she named Elivs. She talks to it while she's playing, as in "Elvis, bring me my 6 iron." Her remote control jammed or malfunctioned somehow one day, or maybe she was just too far away from the cart,  but it took off down a slope, took a little hop to the right and tipped over sideways into a rock-lined hazard. So of course, one of the other women playing with us says solemnly, "Elvis has left the building."

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    It was first time I played with this guy and 1-8 holes I noticed he had a very bad temper.   Let's call him Bob.    So we get to #9 and he hits his driver  and it ends up 3-4 feet directly behind this huge Georgia Pine blocking his path straight to the green.   He is one these golfers that will tell you how and why he is going to hit this shot.  Well #9 is par 5 and he proceeds to tell me he going to take his hybrid and work it around this tree...  keep in mind the ball is 3-4 directly behind this tree that is probably 3 feet  across.   Bob  hits the pine tree dead center and ball come back at his head and he has to dive to get out of the way.    I tried my best not to laugh but I couldn't ..he turns blood red in the face from getting so mad and doesn't say anything until #12. 

      So on #12 Bob hits his  drive in fairway and then tops his iron shot into the front bunker.  He is cussing all the way to the bunker.  Bob goes to hit his shot out of the bunker only to move it 3 feet forward in the bunker. I hear the weird sound to the left of me.  Bob has taken the wedge and tomahawked it in the lake beside the green.   There was a group on #13 teebox and they start laughing really loud.   Again I fall over laughing so hard and it just maked it worse.   He said I hated the ****** wedge anyway and take me back  to the clubhouse because I'm ******* done.    I was laughing so hard on the way back I had tears coming out.  I don't think we played for several months after that.

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    How about golfing with my wife, she hits her tee shot off the inside of the hosel, pulls it dead left off the ball washer ricochets right past us and into the golf cart of the foursome waiting behind us

    I thought all 8 of us were going to lose it!!!

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    I don't even know where to start, but here is one story that won't die.

     

    I had a golfing wardrobe malfunction of my own during a Wednesday night mixer. I was playing with a golfing gal pal and my coach. On the second-to-last hole, my friend told me the zipper on my skirt was busted. At first I didn't really pay attention and told her it was fine. Then she said, "No Heather, I can see polka dots." WHAT?!


    I turned around to realize my zipper had somehow busted wide open. It was attached at the top and bottom, but everything in between was open and my cute polka dot underwear was front and center (or should I say back and center) for the rest of the course to see.

    I consider myself a very prepared golfer. I have everything in my bag from Band-Aids and emery boards to an assortment of Sharpies and extra pencils. However, I did not have a safety pin, which would have offered a quick solution to my problem. I finished out the last two holes with SEVEN putts. Do you think I let the situation rattle me?

    Having skated in hundreds of skating shows, I am used to skimpy costumes and the challenges that come with such outfits. I always made sure my straps had an extra safety pin attached to them--just in case. But I have never had a problem with golf clothes on the course.

    In order to avoid any more Stenson-esque moments, I have now added a variety of safety pins to my golf bag. I recommend every golfer do the same. However, I'm not sure a safety pin would have helped Mr. Stenson.
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    Rerun from a previous post

    I once filled in at a charity scramble and got matched as a threesome with a couple in their mid 70's. Both their spouses had passed on and they had just recently started dating. On the second hole Sarah sunk a putt and turned to Frank and said " Oh we just got a birdie and from now on every birdie we get you get a kiss." She then planted one on him that almost sucked his false teeth out.

    Well for the next few holes we did rather well considering and had 2 more birdies. After the last kiss there was what I would call inappropriate touching (especially for 70+ year old senior citizens) and it made me feel some what uncomfortable. Not so much the act but the age group.

    The next hole was a rather short par 5 and we got on the green in two about 8 feet away for an eagle. They both missed their putts and as I lined up over the ball I could not help but think what would happened if we eagled. Frightened by what could possibly transpire if the putt went in I missed by more than a few feet.

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    I guess my story was funny for those around me because I was the butt of the joke.

    Our foursome pulled up to the 6th hole on the course with our carts.  I was the last to drive, so while I swang my club my friends went back to the carts.  When we pulled off all I heard was a crash and a thud.  We thought the guys behind us took off to fast and hit us.  When we get out of the cart my bag and clubs are on the path.  Apparently they released the strap to my bag and...  They all got a good laugh and they got it on video.

    Thankfully nothing happened to any of the gear.

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    i was playing in a tournament in college and the guy hit his driver off one of our last holes. he was pretty bad to begin with but his drive hit a birdhouse about 20 yards out. it bounced straight back toward him. it flew past his head while he was still holding his follow through. went about 50 yds past the tee box. we all lost it laughing so hard.